How to spot a romance fraudster

In 2023 there were 8,792 reports of romance fraud in the UK, amounting to losses of more than £94.7 million, says the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau (NFIB).

The bureau, which is run by the City of London Police, said the average loss per person was £10,774 and that reporting is now at some of the highest levels to date, with an 8.4 per cent increase on the previous year.

Romance fraud happens when people are tricked into sending money to criminals who go to great lengths to gain their trust and convince them that they are in a genuine, loving relationship – then they exploit that trust to extort money from them.

Victims not only suffer financial loss, they are also damaged psychologically after having their trust broken. They are left to deal with the emotional impact of losing someone they thought of as a partner and the support system they supposedly offered after being manipulated and deceived. It is hard for them to talk to anyone about it because of their shame and embarrassment – and often the fraudsters have isolated them from their friends and family anyway.

A new guide, Staying Safe from Romance Fraud, has been produced by the Thames Valley Police Economic Crime Unit in collaboration with Criminologist and Forensic Linguist Professor Elisabeth Carter.

It is full of advice on how to identify a romance fraudster and the tactics they use – including creating a believable backstory, instilling a sense of urgency and persuading them to keep the ‘relationship’ a secret from the friends and family who will most likely see through the scam.

Its key advice is never send money, share personal information or move communication away from dating platforms or social media too quickly.

A romance fraudster’s suspicious behaviour includes showing a reluctance to meet in person, quickly professing their love and requesting urgent financial help for ‘emergencies’ such as travel or some medical crisis in the family.

The guide stresses the importance of scepticism and urges individuals to stop and think, challenge suspicious requests and protect themselves by reporting fraud.

Additionally, it highlights the importance of education and awareness within communities to prevent these scams. Victims are encouraged to seek support and understand that they are not to blame for being deceived.

You can read or download the guide here.